In my new standalone Ex’s & Hoes, Christi is a book blogger who swears off men after having her heart broken one too many times. She decides that she’ll stick to fictional boyfriends because they always make you swoon and are hot enough to lite your kindle on fire with their skills in their fictional bedrooms.
In chapter one we see Christi posting a new blog post telling the readers who follow her blog about her decision to swear off dating.
She asks in the post for readers to suggest steamy reads for her to pick up that have amazing book boyfriends that she absolutely must meet!
SO HERE’S THE CONTEST I’M DOING! I NEED MY READERS TO COMMENT BELOW THIS POST PRETENDING TO WRITE CHRISTI! RESPOND TO HER STORY ABOUT HER DOUCHEBAG EX JAKE AND HER HOE OF A BEST FRIEND SARA ALONG WITH THE LAST 5 STAR READ YOU FINISHED AND YOUR COMMENT COULD END UP IN THIS NOVEL!!!!!
I’ll be posting comments in a chapter as Christi goes to the blog post and reads off the responses from her fellow book besties. 🙂
BED BANGING BOOK BLOG: Ex’s & Hoes, May 28th 2016
I’m official done with men!
Well real, warm blooded men that is. From now on the only men who’ll be stealing my heart and giving me BIG O’s are the fictional type.
I know all of you readers follow my blog to read my book reviews and stay up to date on what books are coming out next. But I’m shaking things up a bit today. Today I’m writing a blog post about my train wreck of a love life.
This my reader friends, is why I get lost in books. I’m at the point in my life where I’d much rather spend my free hours lost in a book, while relaxing on a blanket in Central Park, than waste my time out on a date with a douchebag disguised as my dream boyfriend.
To make matters worse, this time not only did my boyfriend betray me, but my best friend too. Hence the title of this blog post. We’ve been best friends since we met at NYU five years ago, but now I find myself wondering if we were ever really friends. Because what best friend sleeps with your boyfriend?
I felt like I was living out one of those scenes we read in a book, where you see something terrible unfolding before your eyes, you know you should stop reading and save yourself the tears you are certain you’re about to cry. Instead, your stubborn ass says, it’s okay, I can handle it! You foolishly push on reading and end up devastated, wishing you went with your gut and put the damn book down.
That is what happened to me last night. We were out at a local pub in town with a group of mutual friends, Jake said he was going out to have a cigarette, while I decided to stay inside with our friends so I could order our drinks. As soon as he stepped outside I got a text from my best friend saying she was on her way. So I thought perfect! We’ll have a fun night out to unwind after a long week of work and kick off the long holiday weekend.
Not even three minutes later, I step outside to find Jake and give him his beer. I began to feel this knot in my stomach forming as I looked around and didn’t see him in his usual spot getting his nicotine fix.
After searching through the sidewalk full of people hanging out smoking and not finding him, I rounded the corner of the pub, discovering a couple getting pretty fricking hot and heavy in the alley…after a few seconds it hit me that the guy was Jake and he was playing explore-the-inside-of-some-skanks-mouth. Not just any skank either…my back stabbing best friend!
I felt like the Wicked Witch of the East in The Wizard of Oz when Dorothy’s house dropped on her fricing head.
Saying I was shocked would be putting it lightly. There’s no words that I could say that’d truly express to you all what it felt like to witness my boyfriend and my best friend making out like two horned up teenagers before my eyes.
Shit hit the fan really quick.
After a huge fight for all of SoHo to see, I left in a cab stunned as the reality of what had just happened sunk in. I found myself wondering how many others there were besides her?
I’m just grateful I always made the asshole wrap it up because God knows what kind of diseases the man whore of Manhattan could have.
I don’t know if this is true for any of you out there or if it’s just me. I’ve found that it’s almost impossible to find a man risking your damn heart over. I feel like every guy I meet wants me for only sex. The second things start getting serious they reveal just how big of a tool they really are and leave you once again broken hearted.
I blame my high expectations when dating on all the ridiculously sexy and swoon worthy book boyfriends! While out with friends at a restaurant or walking down the streets of New York, I always find myself spotting a sexy bad boy that reminds me of Kellan Kyle, or a deliciously dressed man in a three-piece-suit that reminds me of Gideon Cross. Instantly I’d be falling over myself for these guys and finding myself throwing caution to the wind.
The way I looked at it is, if they look like my irresistible book boyfriend maybe I’ll luck out and they’ll also be like them. Fiction of course is based on some form of reality. So I’ve held onto that hope that I was possibly going out on a date with my future husband that’d whisk me away on romantic getaways and rock my world in the bedroom every single day.
Sadly, and rather quickly, I’ve learned that men like Kayden Knox and Archer Hale don’t really exist. Sure, there’s a shit load of guys that look like our perfect book boyfriends. There isn’t however a large number of insanely good looking men who aren’t complete and total jackasses.
For a while I was able to overlook the flaws of my current boyfriend because he had that smile you all know too well; the one they flash you and make you suddenly stupid and turning into a puddle at their feet. Every time I’d start to suspect something wasn’t right he’d smile at me, say something sweet and I’d push the worry into the back of my mind. Now I wish I would’ve stopped being so naive.
I’m once again single and drowning my sorrows in a pint of Ben & Jerry’s while he goes on with his life as if I never even existed. While me on the other hand find myself dissecting every single thing about myself. From my hair, to my weight, to the way I style my hair and my makeup. Why is it we try to find flaws in ourselves when a man breaks our heart? Instead of looking for the flaws in him?
The signs are usually always there; we just don’t see them until it’s too late. Or we do and choose to ignore them like I’ve done way too many times. With Jake, I choose to ignore the red flags that screamed ‘DOUCHEBAG ALERT’ and instead focus on his skills in the bedroom, and his overly charming personality and smile. Which in the end landed me here writing this blog post ranting about how big of an asshole my ex is.
After having my heart broken for the second time this year and it is only May! I’m ready to swear off all men. Unless a guy comes into my life and can show me that charming and ridiculously romantic men truly do exist and not just in my romance novels, then I’m through with dating. It’s too exhausting going through all that us ladies go through when dating a guy to keep wasting my time on pigs.
So my fellow bibliophiles, it looks like I’m going to have a lot of free time on my hands now to read. So comment below this blog post suggesting to me the last five star read that you finished. The steamier the better!
I just finished up reading The Crashing Series boxed set by Kristen Hope Mazzola, and currently reading Perfectly Imperfect by the amazingly talented Harper Sloan and LOVING the hell out of it!
I’ll update you all in a few days on how my celibacy is going and what I’m reading next! So suggest away book besties!
– Christi, AKA Bed Banging Bibliophile
Ex’s & Hoes!
**A nerdy book blogger & her insanely hot NYPD best friend are going to make you laugh your asses off and steal your hearts in this Friends to Lovers story ❤ **
A romantic comedy that’ll be in a new anthology I’m in that is out this summer!!!
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