Leaning against the sink resting my hands against the cool marble, I stare at myself in the mirror.
What the fuck did I just do? I think to myself as I try to shake the words of doubt from my mind.
I just fucked the most gorgeous woman on the damn planet but now I have a seriously problem. The sex was too good. How the fuck am I going to be able to act as if this didn’t’ happen and travel with her for the next six months?
I now understand why Brittan is so serious about never mixing business with pleasure. But for her and me it’s two totally different reasons.
For her she doesn’t want the drama.
For me…it’s going to be torture. Pure. Fucking. Torture. Because I’m going to have to see her every Goddamn day for the next six months and not be able to bury myself inside of her, like I was five seconds ago.
Get your shit together. She’s just another chick. I’ll have thousands just like her begging to help me forget about her as soon as we kick this tour off next week.
Raking my fingers through my hair, I take in a full breath of air and blow it out slowly as I finally get my feet to move and head back into Brittan’s bedroom.
I’m still stark ass naked as I make my way over to my boxers that are lying on the floor at the foot of her bed. Brittan’s eyes land on me and flicker with a look of desire then darken with pain instantly making my chest ache.
Grabbing my boxers I slip them on and ask, “Are you okay?”
Brittan instantly goes from looking like her puppy just died to flashing me an all teeth smile which I can instantly tell is forced. I can’t wrap my head around this girl. “Yeah, I’m great. Just tired, today’s been a roller coaster of emotions that have left my mind and body exhausted.”
I immediately remember an article I read in a magazine the other day with Brittan. She was being interviewed by some music blogger about our upcoming tour, then she was talking about some new charity thing she’s doing in the memory of her fiancé. If I remember correctly he died eight years to the day. I can’t believe she actually showed up to the party with it being the anniversary and all. I guess she’s just trying to move on with her life.
Now I feel like an ass for coming on so strong tonight.
Crawling onto the bed I lie down next her, propping myself up on my left arm. We both stare at each other for a few seconds without speaking as I gaze down into her gorgeous big brown eyes. I try to see past the facade she’s putting on for me.
I am trying to keep my emotions in check and not let Brittan see she’s getting to me. But I’m failing miserably because I instantly notice that Brittan sees the pain in my eyes that I’m trying to mask. I don’t know why but seeing the sadness that is all consuming for her is so raw. I feel as if I can feel every ounce of sadness that she’s feeling.
Raising my hand, I use the pad of my thumb and gently brush away a few stray strands of her dark silky hair from her face and tuck them behind her ear.
Slowly I slide my tongue over my lips trying to moisten my mouth that is now dry and starving to be quenched by her intoxicating kiss.
So much for just getting the hell out of here. I can’t fool myself; I am definitely feeling something for this woman.
Staring down at her I can’t help but tell her exactly what is bouncing around inside my head, “You are a mysterious and captivating woman, Brittan McKenna. I am trying so hard to read you, but I officially think it’s impossible.”
A look of shock and amusement flashes across her face as she falls back on the pillows beneath her. She lets out a low belly laugh that makes my lungs stop working momentarily and my heart stammers against my fucking chest.
I can’t control my actions now. My body is taking over and ignoring the voice in my head telling me to get my shit an get the hell out of here, right the fuck now.
Leaning down I kiss a path from the small curve of her jaw, breathing in the smell of me on her skin, mixed with a fruity scent as I work my lips up to her mouth. With each kiss I press to her skin, her laughter quiets and slowly stops.
“Sorry…” Brittan says breathlessly with her voice soft and sweet. Each time this woman speaks, she makes my brain go haywire. “I can’t even read myself half the time, so don’t feel bad. I don’t think anyone will ever understand me. And captivating is far from the word I’d use…more like complicated.” I can’t help but take notice to the sadness in her words.
It guts me to know she feels this way.
It’s as if no one will ever understand her and will waste their time if they even bother to try. I don’t know how she doesn’t see what I see. When I look at her I see a woman who’s strong, talented, beautiful; and has the ability to bring me to my knees with just the slightest touch and those kiss me lips.
Grabbing her chin, I force her to look at me. She’s spent the last few seconds with her eyes fixated on the chandelier above her bed, trying to keep from looking at me. I’m going to make her look at me and listen to what I have to say whether she wants to or not.
I breath in a fast sharp breath before speaking, “To me, Brittan, you are the most captivating woman I’ve ever met. The second I saw you dancing tonight I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. No matter how hard I tried. You don’t see it, but you are beautiful and are worth someone taking the time to see the real you. Not the facade you put on for the outside world.”
She just stares up at me frozen and dazed. Her mouth moves but nothing comes out. It’s adorable. The corners of my lips curl up into a ghost of a smile, as she reaches up gently sliding her delicate little fingers through my hair. I feel her nails scratching at my scalp causing a shiver to shoot down my back and cause my dick to ache in my briefs.
Palming the back of my head she pulls me down to her, crashing our lips together. Giving me one more “rock my fucking world” kiss, with those perfect lips of hers. I can feel it in her kiss…she’s saying goodbye. Not just for tonight. Forever.
From here on out we’ll just be Brittan and Jordon, two musicians touring together.
I don’t know why but I actually feel a little pissed about this.
Normally, I’m happy that I don’t have to try and explain that after tonight there will not be any dates, phone calls, or texts. I expect nothing but a night of casual sex followed by see ya later.
As I pull away from her kiss she whispers up at me with her sexy little voice, “Good night, Jordon.”
My heart stammers against my ribcage again, I’m now the one forcing a fake ass smile at her. I climb off the bed without saying anything in return. If I try to talk I’ll end up saying something we’ll both regret, and wish was never spoken when the morning comes.
In record time, I collect all of my clothes and throw them on before heading out the door and fishing my phone out of my jeans. I quickly shoot a text to the guys letting them know I’ll be at the hotel and will see them in the morning.
I sit down onto the stone steps outside Brittan’s front entrance and call a cab. Within fifteen minutes a tiny yellow cab is pulling up and asking me, where to? I don’t look back as I tell him the name of our hotel. Looking back at the house where I know she’s inside alone, will only make this moment more difficult.
Resting my head against the back seat that smells of stale cigarettes, I run my hands over my face, as images of tonight replay in my head. I’m totally fucked. Just a few hours with her and she’s imbedded herself inside of me.
The only thing on my agenda tomorrow is getting completely trashed. Hopefully I can find a hot willing chick I can use to fuck Brittan out of my system. If that doesn’t work, I know one thing…it’s going to be a long ass six months.
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