I have a wall you cannot see
Because its deep inside of me.
It blocks my heart on every side
And helps emotions there to hide.
I did the best I could to build
A perfect wall, but there are still
A few small flaws, which are the key
To breaking through the wall to me.
Please use each flaw
To cause a crack
To knock a stone off the stack.
For just as stone by stone was laid
With every hurt and every pain,
So stone by stone the wall will break
As love replaces every ache.
Please be the one
Who cares enough
To find the flaws, no matter what.
~ Written by Emmah
After leaving Los Angeles, I thought I would never have to come face to face with Logan Sanders ever again. The last thing I expected was to open my front door, to discover him standing there. Staring down at me with those crystal blue eyes…the same eyes I have gazed into so many times over the past four years. Only now instead of getting lost in the love and desire I use to see in them…I look into his eyes feeling anger, and betrayal. Cheating on me with half of L.A. was a deal breaker…now all I see is a pathetic excuse for a man, rather than the man I once dreamt of spending the rest of my life with.
I stood frozen as my mind takes in the image of Logan standing before me. He has the audacity to come to Galveston. I ran all the way to Texas for goodness sake in order to get away from him.
“Savannah, I know I am the last person you want to see right now, but can I come in so we can talk?” Logan finally says snapping me back to the here and now.
“What? No! What the hell are you doing here Logan?” the annoyance in my voice unmistakable. I want to make sure he knows I am not thrilled one bit at his surprise visit. I am still trying to get over the shock that he is really here.
The nervousness rushing from him only has the effect of fueling my anger towards him. I have never witnessed Logan nervous before, not even once the entire time we were together. He was always Mr. Calm and Collected.
I have to hold back the urge to kick him in the balls. I tried so hard over the last few months to move past everything that happened. But he is making that extremely difficult, with him constantly talking to the press, and to top it off by showing up here.
“I had to see you…I saw Brooklyn earlier this morning at Starbucks. She said you guys are moving here permanently, is that true?”
“If you must know yes, it’s true. But what I do with my life is no longer any of your business Logan, so why are you here?” I take a deep breath reminding myself to breathe and maintain my composure.
He ran his hands through his hair, letting out a deep moan of frustration. He spun around and walks over to the railing of my deck. Gripping it, I can see the veins pulsating along his arms as he tries to control his anger.
“Savannah, I never thought you would leave L.A., I was hoping…” He spun back around facing me, “I was hoping we could find a way to fix this.”
Is he smoking crack? He seriously believes there is a chance in hell that I would ever get back with him?
“Logan, you need to get it through your head, we are finished. I cannot move past the fact that you fucked pretty much anything with a fucking vagina!”
Logan took another step towards me; I quickly stepped around him towards the railing he was just leaning on. The last thing I want or need is him touching me. I swear to God I will snap and the last thing I want is to turn violent with him…and have that all over the tabloids.
I still cannot believe he has the audacity to come here! Kayden is going to be here soon. The last thing I need is for them meeting, especially on a deck two stories high, where things could turn ugly, quickly. Logan has a big mouth, and Kayden I don’t think would hesitate to shut him up.
“I won’t accept that Savannah…I love you. These last few months, being away from you has been a living hell. I am going to get help; what I did, had nothing to do with you, it was my addiction to sex.”
I burst out laughing; I’m about to lose my mind right now. He seriously thinks I believe his bullshit story of suffering from sex addiction? “Shut up, right now. I don’t want to hear your excuses. You cheated on me…not just once or twice. You cheated on me for our entire relationship! That is not something I can just over look, and say Oh Well, it was because of an addiction. That’s not love Logan!”
I could see anger taking over his features, he truly believed I would buy his sob story and just take him back. He has gone completely mental!
“Just like that! You will throw away everything we had?” He said between clenched teeth. “Did you ever love me Savannah?”
“Oh. My. God. Are you fucking serious right now!? Of course I loved you, you stupid asshole! I loved you with all my heart. Never had the idea crossed my mind to be with anyone but you. I was 100% committed to you and the life I thought we were building together. You on the other hand didn’t seem to think twice about sticking your dick into any whore who would spread her legs for you!” I feel like I’m in a freaking twilight zone! He is pushing all the wrong buttons right now, and if he keeps pushing me, he is going to see a side of me he never saw before, and then will be wishing had hadn’t.
“You’re not listening to me Savannah; I didn’t want to sleep with those women! I couldn’t control myself. I am going to get better, I can be that man you loved and give you the perfect life. Just come back to Los Angeles and give me a chance to prove it to you.” He walks over to me putting his hands on my arms and stared at me with pleading eyes.
Even though a small part of me still loved him, and wished that what he said was true, I knew deep down it wasn’t reality. He could paint me this beautiful picture of a life we could have together. The truth is I could never forgive, or forget, there is no possible way I can even consider trying again with him.
Then there is Kayden, he has awakened feelings inside of me, Logan could not even stir up. What I felt for Logan seems like puppy love compared to the intense feelings I have for Kayden. Which is completely insane, I have only known Kayden a few days…compared to years with Logan!
I push Logan away from me; I couldn’t deal with him touching me. His touch that I once craved now turned my stomach. “Logan you need to go now. We. Are. Done. The sooner you come to terms with that, the faster we can both move on with our lives.”
“This is about that Kayden guy isn’t it? Did you fuck him when he came to L.A. for his Envy interview?”
“You did not just ask me that? You are seriously a world class douche bag! NO I did not Fuck him when he was in L.A., unlike you Logan, I actually understand what an exclusive relationship means!” I shove him away from me harder this time; “You can leave now, I have nothing more to say to you.” Pointing towards his rent-a-car.
“I am not going anywhere. You think that Kayden Knox…The Playboy of Houston is actually going to commit to you? What a joke… He is going to use you Savannah, and toss you aside then move on to his next conquest. I’m in love with you and couldn’t stay faithful; you think a man you hardly know will? Hell! He may give it his best shot, but believe me, when he goes out of town for business, don’t think for a second he will be able to resist temptation. There are always a million girls willing to do whatever he wants, and keep their mouth shut.”
I didn’t even think before reacting, I swung my arm back and connected my fist with Logan’s nose. “Shut up!” I shout feeling his nose crack and blood went everywhere. I have never punched anyone before in my life. I just lost control, listening to him spew his poison.
I cannot believe I just punched him! Shit my hand is throbbing. With a look of utter shock and anger Logan cupped his nose in his hands.
“You stupid bitch! You broke my fucking nose!” He yells staring at the blood in his hands.
“Oh, my god….I’m so sorry! Why couldn’t you just shut up and leave? I don’t know why you even thought you could show up here, and convince me to take you back.” The look he gives me had me backing away from him with fear “Just stay here and I will get you a rag for your nose.” I say needing to put some distance between us.
Breathing a sigh of relief I retrieve a washcloth from the bathroom and run warm water over it. Stepping onto the deck my eyes land on a man standing next to Logan. He looks to be about six feet, slender build, with slightly styled short brown hair.
“Here is a washcloth for your nose.” Now some stranger gets to see firsthand what I did…just freaking fantastic.
“Hi I’m Jacob Williams, my boyfriend and I are renting the beach house next door.” Introducing himself with a thick British accent. “I heard shouting, so I came to see if I could be of any assistance.”
He is gay? What a shame for the female population, because he is extremely handsome. Brooklyn would have loved him. “Hi, I’m Savannah.” I replied with a quick hand shake. “Everything is fine, Logan was just leaving.” I turn towards Logan, shooting him a death glare. He best be leaving or I will not hesitate to call the cops and have his ass escorted off of my property. “Again, I am sorry about your nose Logan, but I need you to leave. We have nothing left to talk about.”
“Savannah, are you serious? You just busted my nose for fuck sake! And you will not even consider anything I said?”
“Yes I am serious. I want you to leave NOW. There is nothing left to discuss, or for me to think about. My mind was made up the moment I caught you in that hotel room. Kayden is going to be here soon, so I think it is best if you just go. And while you are at it, why don’t you head straight to the airport. Go back to L.A.; I’m sure there are plenty of women waiting there to help you forget all about me.”
“You are making a huge mistake. Kayden Knox is only going to break your heart. Just wait and see… I’m right about him.”
“Kind of hard to break something that is already shattered. You seem to forget you broke my heart months ago, and that I will never forget. Please just go! I don’t want a scene, especially in front of my new neighbor.” I waved my hands towards Jacob, who was standing there looking every bit uncomfortable as I feel.
Jacob cleared his throat and stepped in front of me, “Sir, I believe the lady asked you to leave. We don’t want to have to get the police involved.”
How grateful I was that Jacob showed up, because I don’t know if Logan would have agreed to leave without causing a commotion. Logan huffed out a loud sigh, and briskly walked away avoiding Jacob and the tense situation. I was happy he was finally leaving. I just hope he takes my advice and goes back to Los Angeles. I don’t need this right now, my life is finally starting to piece back together, and then Logan comes barreling into town trying to knock it back down again.
“Thank you for your help Jacob. I really appreciate it. I just wish you didn’t have to witness that. Not the best way to meet your new neighbor.” Nervously rocking on the heels of my feet; too embarrassed to meet his eyes.
“Don’t be, I am just happy I was nearby and able to help. If you need anything at all don’t hesitate to ask. If I am not there my boyfriend Zak should be. We will be at the house next door for the month.”
“Thanks, I just hope that there will not be a next time. I need to get back inside before my lasagna burns. It was nice meeting you.”
He flashed a mega watt smile at me. Such a shame he’s not straight. Brooklyn would be all over that like white on rice, I smiled to myself as I watched him walk back towards his beach house.
I hurried back inside; thankful my timer still had thirty minutes until I had to take the lasagna out. I still have time to shower and finish setting the scene for our romantic evening before Kayden gets here. Of course my hand is throbbing and slightly swollen. Hopefully it won’t put a damper on our evening together. I am dreading having to bring up the whole Logan fiasco when Kayden gets here.
Stepping out of my bedroom ready for the evening ahead I heard my laptop beeping, alerting me of an incoming Skype call. I sat down on the couch turned my Skype on and was greeted with Reagan’s gorgeous smile.
“Hey stranger, what’s up?” I said smiling back at him. I already know why he’s calling me. He more than likely saw on a blog or gossip website that Logan was spotted at LAX, and then a short while later at Houston Airport.
“Don’t hey what’s up me, Savannah. Why is Logan in Houston? Please don’t tell me you lost your damn mind, and are taking him back.” Reagan said with an irritated tone.
I let out a moan and propped my chin in my hands. The drama and chaos I endured over the past few months were enough to last me a lifetime. Now Logan showing up here has just piled on a whole boatload more.
“Oh my god no! I am just as shocked as you are that Logan came here. He has lost his freaking mind. He actually thought he could show up here promising me everything under the sun, and I would be stupid enough to take him back!”
Reagan sat back in his office chair, looking as if a humungous weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. He ran his hand through his sandy brown hair and let out a small chuckle. “You don’t know how relieved I am to hear you say that. I thought I was going to have to jump back on a plane, to Texas and knock some sense into you!”
“I would never in a million years take Logan back. I don’t care what excuses he has for cheating on me. I am done with him, he is my past, and hopefully Kayden Knox is my future. He had the nerve to tell me I should move back to L.A. trying to scare me with Kayden’s past, and his well known playboy ways. He said he still loves me, and Kayden will only break my heart. I literally snapped; I was beyond pissed off already that he had the audacity to show up at my house, but to then trying to use Kayden to get me back…that was my breaking point.”
Reagan shot up in his chair sporting a big ass grin across his face. “Oh do tell! Now this story just got interesting. So did you put King of the Douchebags in his place? Did he run of with his tail between his legs?” He asks letting out a deep laugh.
I couldn’t help but laugh. Talking with Reagan just for these few minutes has helped me relax. All the tension built up inside of me was slowly seeping away. “Well sort of.” I said and held my hand up in front of my laptop, showing Reagan my swollen red knuckles. “I kinda, sorta punched him…and possibly broke his nose.” I slapped my hand over my eyes laughing with embarrassment.
I thought his eyes were going to pop out of his head when he saw my hand. “Holy shit, Savannah! You’ve been in Texas what…seven days!? You’re already turning into a bad ass! I am going to call you Chuck Norris from now on.” He teased. “Hell, I am so pissed I missed that! What happened after you punched him? Did he go ape shit? If he laid a hand on you, I will break his fucking neck.”
For the next ten minutes I continued to explain to Reagan everything that happened with Logan. I told him about Jacob showing up after overhearing us arguing, and how I thought him coming over helped me get Logan to finally leave. Reagan was happy to hear that I had shown Logan the door and told him there was nothing left for us to discuss. I just hope Logan stops being selfish and returns to Los Angeles, so I can finally move on with my life.
Reagan had to end our call because he was about to film an episode for his show. Talking to him made me miss him, but deep down I know leaving L.A. is one of the best decisions I have made in a long time.
I had the wine chilling and the Lasagna in the oven on warm. I set up candles all over the house. I proudly displayed all my flowers Kayden sent me, throughout the living room, Kitchen and bedroom. I took a few roses from the vases and pulled the petals off, sprinkling them across the bed. I had the three candles lit on the stand beside the bed, the same ones Kayden had lit the first night we spent together here.
I cranked up the music I was listening to, Maroon Fives, One more Night. So I can dance to while I set the table. Kayden will be here any moment, and that is the only thing left to do before he gets here. I am trying to stay busy, keep my mind off of everything that occurred earlier with Logan. I am dreading having to tell Kayden about him coming to Texas.
I set the forks on top of the napkins, and suddenly felt hands wrap around my waist. I jumped screaming, I’m still on edge from my confrontation with Logan.
I squealed as the strong hands lifted me up off of the ground and spun me around. Kayden’s cologne consumed my senses. Excitement erupted inside me; I had waited four long days to finally be in his arms again.
“Ohhhh!” I giggled as Kayden hoist me up, gripping my butt in the palm of his hands. I wrapped my legs around him and was instantly lost in his memorizing green eyes.
He flashed me a smile showing off his sparking white teeth, that smile could melt the panties off of every woman within a ten mile radius. “Miss me?” He asked; his southern twang combined with his deep voice had me tingling all over.
“I missed you so much it hurts!” I said running my uninjured hand along is stubbly jaw. “I have missed every inch of you.” I began fluttering kisses along his neck, savoring the taste of his skin. Kayden squeezed my ass and let out a deep moan. He pressed me against his hardening length, “I have twelve inches right here Savannah, that missed you so much it‘s almost painful. These last four days have felt like the longest four days of my life.”
I stopped kissing his neck and raised an eye brow at him, giving him a crooked grin. “We made the best out of a difficult situation…I never knew Skype sex could be so much fun!” I laughed.
Kayden gave my ass another squeeze and moaned as he stared into my eyes with so much intensity it sent shivers along my spine. “Believe me, watching you get yourself off with your vibrator was beyond hot, I exploded the moment I saw your eyes roll into the back of your head. The sounds you make as you were coming… are the sexiest fucking things I have ever heard.”
Before I could respond Kayden was devouring my mouth. His tongue tasted of cinnamon gum, making my tongue tingle. I moaned into his mouth, grinding my pubic bone against his bulging cock that was trapped inside his
cargo shorts. I entwined my fingers in his hair, holding his mouth against mine. Kayden Knox was like a bad habit I never wanted to kick. I have never felt more alive than I do when I am with him. It’s terrifying and exhilarating all at the same time, and the effect he has on me in such a short amount of time.
Kayden turned away from the table, slamming our bodies against the wall. He was grinding into me meeting me thrust for thrust. I could feel my climax building. The combination of Kayden smell, the taste and sensation of his mouth on mine, and his cock stimulating my clit with every thrust, had me drowning in ecstasy. Kayden slid his hand under my dress, and growled with pleasure when he discovered I wasn’t wearing any underwear.
Within seconds he had three fingers deep inside me. His grunts were like music to my ears; Instantly electrifying every nerve in my body. “God Savannah, you’re so tight. I love how wet you are for me already. I cannot wait to taste your sweet juices. I am going to lick every inch of this body until you are begging me to make you come. We have four days to make up for tonight.”
The feeling of his fingers thrusting inside of me, and his cock rubbing against my clit sent me over the edge. I pulled my mouth away from his, screaming out in pleasure. I chanted his name as he continued to pump his fingers into me. Our eyes locked as I rode his fingers, my pussy throbbed rapidly gripping his fingers as the orgasm ripped through me. It felt like waves of pure bliss crashing over me. My desire for Kayden was so overwhelming. I collapsed onto his shoulder, wrapping my arms around him as my body came down from the mind-blowing orgasm he just rocked me with.
“I needed that.” I giggled breathlessly into his ear.
“We will eat later. I need to be buried deep inside your tight pussy.” He said carrying me towards the bedroom. “I am about to explode, I wanted to give you that right now, because I am so horny, I don’t think I will last more than a few seconds.”